JCC Day of Isbitz, Manahattan, Jan 21.

It was an interesting trip. Lets start with the second anual Mei HaShiloach conference, called, 'A Day of Isbitz,' which took place on Sunday, January 21st in at the JCC, Manhattan, amsterdam avenue on the upper west side. The three speakers were Rabbi Naftali Citron, Professor Shaul Maggid, and yours truly. The Mei HaShiloach has been described as subversive. This is due to its radical stance on the nature of law and determinism. Is everything from God? Does God grant free will for man to make his own choices, thereby meriting the ability to earn his own reward and deserve his own punnishment? At the very highest level, what we call, 'from God's point of view,' even the ability to fulfill or transgress one of the commandments of the Torah is bestowed by the Almighty. The question is, if I give a poor man a dollar, is God secretly controlling my action and causing me to give some charity, or did I do it out of my own volition?

The Gemara say, 'all is in the Hands of Heaven except for the fear of Heaven.' God determines all of the external circumstances of my life. WHether I am tall or short, smart or stupid, rich or poor, is all determined by God in His infinite wisdom. But the book of Deuteronomy tells us, 'what does God ask of you but to fear Him?' implying that he gives us a choice. He leaves it up to me whether or not I do a mitzvah or transgress the Law. He want us to choose, and says so quite plainy, 'I have placed before you good and evil, death and life ... Choose life!'

But this knowledge is just mans own understanding from his own point of view. If we can be as bold as Rav Mordechai Yosef (1800-1854, Poland), the author of the Mei Hashiloach (the Isbitzer), we can see clearly now that just because we are largely in the Dark, that does not mean that God is, too, and he would forbid keeping himself from knowing a thousand times over. 'Everything is in the hands of heaven, INCLUDING the fear of heaven (meaning, including free choice). God knows all, and sees all, and orchestrates all, and even micro-manages all, and does a wondrous job at it to boot. So If I lift my little finger, He knew about it from the beginning of time and makes it happen. If I deside to lift my index finger instead of my little finger, then He decided that as well. logic may seem to say that if God's will determines all actions, then man has no free choice, but this in not really the case. God is beyond time, and the past, present and future, so for all intensive purposes, whatever God decides, it is as if He has always decided it. If I chose to pet the dog, then God determined from the beginning of time that I was to pet the dog, and if I change my mind and choose to chase the cat, the that action, that point in time, turns out exactly as God planned it.

To be continued ... I have been writing this from Joe Berkes computer in London, and I have to get back to Jerusalem. Thanks, Joe, you da best. WOOF!

Rebbe Nachman

Rebbe Nachman on Parshat Vaeira (Toras Nosson)


I appeared unto Avraham, Yitschak and Yaakov as El Shaddai, but I did not make myself known unto them with my Name Havaye ....

Moshe had just asked God why he had forsaken his people, especially right after God had appointed him to lead the Jews out of Egypt.
Rabbi Simon said, when God wanted to create Adam, the first man, all the angels got together for a big debate. Some groups of angels said,
create him, and some said, "dont create him," This is as it is written in the Tehilim, "Lovingkindness and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed." Lovingkindness, known as Chesed, said, "create him, for man is kind to others." Truth said, "don't create him," for he is filled with lies." What did God do? He took truth and threw him to the earth.
We see that the world is a place of lies. People decieve each other right and left in order to fulfill their own desires. But the angel of truth made a mistake, as even the angel of truth does not fully understand the intentions and the ultimate purpose God has for man in the world.
How so? First of all, God forced Moshe into the job. He saw the difficulties., the inflexibility of and increasing cruelty of Pharoah, and the eventual unruliness and rebellion of the Israelites.
Truth is an unfolding process, the truth becomes a little more clear after a life's struggle and many trials and tribulations. Our goal is to get to emes l'amito, the deepest level of truth, but it is a nearly impossible task, perhaps ocasionally granted by God to a few select individuals, (great judges such as the Talmudic sage Rava, for instance, in the story of "Rava's cane.")
Truth comes from the power of choice, by means of our choices, we make a clarification of the truth, this is good and true, this is destructive and false.
Moshe was spending a lot of time with the angel of truth. Consider Moshe's situation. First of all, he didn't want the Job as leader of the Jewish people because of the truth. He knew that even once he took them out they would not listen to him, he knew that God would give His greatest treasure to Israel only for Israel to abandon it time and time again. And Moshe thought that this was the real expression of humility and meekness before God. "Who am I to be such a leader, and If I cant change them, then why bother asking me!!"
All doubts and reluctance to be the hero of the story flows from this accusation of the angels with the creation of the world, "what is man that thou art mindful of him" This is the yetser hara. this is the force that causes man time and time again to shoot himself in the foot.
Even the greatest of Tsaddikim have to toil and sweat for years in order to clarify the truth. and they are in great competition with the evil ones who always dress their words in the truth. Pharoah said "why do the Jews want to go and serve God? this is a big lie! God does not want you to serve Him! God wants you to redeem yourself by makeing bricks, working hard for the boss, working here on earth for your own physical well being." Pharoah tells us, "If God wanted you to serve Him, he would give you a great inspiration and all the Jews and all the Egyptians would see Him and feel a great awakening to serve Him! But it is not happening. If God wanted you to serve him, he would make it easy for you and make it happen automatiically.

Pharoah said "Al yesha'u b'divrei sheker!" Dont contemplate false matters! Be in the world, look at reality, thats life and stop dreaming about airy spiritual matters. Sitting in Yeshiva? Feh! Get back to work and be real!"
But all of these cities, pithom and Ramses, were really uselsess cities. They were cities dedicated to a dead body, a sarcaphagos, and a momentous lie inventied in order to do nothing more than tourture the Jews. And today, the mindless pursuit of more, the feeling once you made your first three milliion that you are not going to be satisfied until you have made your first thirty milliion, your first three hundred million, it never stops, but the desire keeps growing and growing, what is this? THese are huge cities dedicated to the dead,

Pharoah wants us to believe that Moshe and Aharon are lying to us when they are calling us to serve God. Pharoah wants us only to serve him, and Pharaoh is in each generation to this day. Pharoah wants us to think that he loves us more than Moshe and Aharon love us. "I am giving you a job and a reason to get out of bed in the morning, where Moshe and Aharon are fobbing off baselsess dreams and fantasies."
Then Moshe starts to believe Pharoah, belive the angels that say "dont create man, he's filled with lies." And how do we know that moshe starts to belive these mistaken notions? Moshe says, "why are you harming this people! Why are you bringing the Jews suffering instead of redeeming them as you have promised!"
Too much truth causes even the great tsaddilim to make mistakes, to give up hope and loose their faith.
So thats why it says in the beggining of this weeks parsha, "ANd E-lohim said to Moshe, I am Hashem." Elohim is the aspect of judgment, harsh truth, Hashem is the aspect of mercy and kindness. All of this suffering, all of this judgement, it is really kindness, it is really God leading the world in the best possible way. THe man of doubt doent see the ultimate purpose. THe man of faith knows that no matter how difficult the situation, God never forsakes us and never abandons us. Bad things happen to good people, but most likely we will not have the privilege of knowing why. Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheynu, Adonai Ehad, God's judgement is Gods mercy, they are both one. We cannot percive it with out senses or with our intellect, just as we cannot perceive God's essence.
So why did he appear to Avraham, Yitschak, and Yaakov as El Shaddai, the Almighty, but But God did not make his name Havaye known to them only to Moshe? God began to reveal his Divinity to the patriarchs, but it was just a begining. But you cannot reveal everyting all at once! It is a process of slow revelation in the world of Choice that takes a life time, many lifetimes, all generations until the moshiach! Truth is revealed through choice. God is one and His name is One, all good, all kind, all kadosh. But from our point of view, we only know and see that goodness and kindness according to how hard we work to see it, even in the difficult times, even in the times of suffering, This is real work! Everyone will see it according to his efforts.
"Noda be'shearim Ba;lah" beshearim is like estimation , "mesha;arim," you know God according to how much you let him in your heart, according to how much you want to know him and strive to know him.
El Shaddai, this is the numerical equivalent of Metat"" the leader of the angels. God said to Moshe, "I will send and angel before you to lead the children of Israel to redemption." Moshe refused, and said, "NO God, I only want you. It is you or nothing." This angel, Metat" had becom indistinguishable from the name E-L Shaddai, they are the same number. But this is a great danger. The angel is not God, we cannot ever confuse a created force for the ultimate force, God forbid, we are only led by the essence. The essence, is, however, hidden from our view, and we need rather to ascend in faith, and the higher you go in faith, the more your faith becomes knowing. Moshe only went after the name of God's infinite and hidden essence, Havaye, which is not onloy all truth and all good, all kindness and all mercy, It is beyond, mammash beyond. Dont think that it is so bad to go after El Shaddai, the beginning of the revelation where God is still largely hidden! The great tsaddikim, like Avarham, Yitschak, and Yaakov, also went after El Shaddai, but they knew it was just the beginning and there was so much more to know.

Moshe says to God, "why have you harmed the people." God says, "Look at Avraham, who even though I had given him the land of Israel had to deffer to Bnei CHeth and pay a huge sum of money for a grave that was rightfully his! Look at the problem that Yitschak had with the his own wells that were stolen from him, Look at how Yaakov paid for the field next to Schem, "Vayikon et chelkat hasadei" and not one of them questioned me, accused me and said that I am being unfair and going back on my promise!"
So now that I you know that I am Havaye, the God of mercy despite the suffering and the judgements, if you think that you will know it, feel it, and see it all right away, then think again! You, Moshe, are stil far from the truth. All you need to now for the time being is that the more you know, the more you know how much you don't know, how infinitely much more there is to know. It will unfold, it will come to you, but it will take days, years, lifetimes.
God promises us and Moshe, "I have heard your suffering, I feel your pain, But do not be afraid, because I always keep my promise. You will get to the promised land, you will serve Me and witness my presence in the Holy Temple, but you must be patient. It will not all happen at once." And it will happen, he remembers the the kindness of our forefathers, and he will bring a Redeemer to their children's children, all for the sake of His name and with love."

Remember the difficulties Avraham had with the people of his day, running out into the wildreness when they only mocked him and derided him, after he bent over backwards all day to show them kindness and teach them to bless God. God said to Avraham, "you have been struggling with them for a few hours and now you give up. But I have been struggling with them for all the years of their lives, and I have not given up on them." And God never gives up.

If only they could fear me all of their days ...

See Devarim, 5:26

If only their hearts were with me in this way, revering me and guarding My commandments all the days, so it will be well for them and their children forever. Go and tell them, 'go back to their tents.'

This fatherly reaction, God looking at us after we recieved the Torah, where we had become purified like angels, and thinking, "wow, if only the children of Israel could stay on this level all the time," God knows what is best for us, but he wants us to learn our own lessons, and choose the good for ourselves. Why did God make man who could act with his own free will and transgress God's commands? It is as the Holy Kotsker said, that God has enough holy angels; what he really wants is holy men. And the Kotsker's talmid chaver, his soul brother, his adversary, his friend, Rav Mordechai Yosef knew that God wants us to act with love in the world, to be loving and help others, and when you act with love you cant be so holy and separate.
For instance, if you see someone's car stopped on the side of the road with a flat tire, and you want to stop and help him change the tire, you are going to have to get your hands dirty. Fasting is an ancient way of cleaning one's soul, but only if done in the right way. I heard from my Rebbe Reb Brandvine, Shlita, that the Chassidim where not big fans of fasting. At best, when you fast, you are only helping yourself, but when you eat, at least you have the strength to help others. When you fast, you are helping yourself not only to control your appetite but to do teshuvah, to return in Joy to God's law. And still, it is only for yourself. Mazal Tov. What about putting your holy arrogance aside and helping another person? So perhaps you see what Rav Mordechai Yosef, the Mei HaSHiloach, meant when he said that acting with love in this world necessitates that wont be able to keep so clean - reserved for God and removed from the world. But don't think that there is any contradiction here between the Kotsker and the Isbitser (Mei HaShiloach), a holy man will eat in a reasonable way so he has the strength to help others. A holy man will get his hands dirty and change the tire. Sitting in Yeshivah is great, if only we could all spend an hour every day and night trembling with joy over the Gemara and the holy books, but a baal chesed - a man of kindness and generosity, a man with a heart, will overcome his own nature and do for others.

"Go back to your tents." This statement is commonly understood that the celebicy practiced by the children of Israel that was needed in order to receive the Torah was no longer neccesary, and the men could, "go back to their tents," and be intimite with their wives. But it is saying more. God was saying, "Do you see the tremendous vision you had, where you were so holy that your souls went out of your bodies and witnessed visions of God to last for all generations? Take that vision and that lofty level of holiness and bring it into your tents, conduct yourselves in the bedroom as if you were standing before me. You were standing and your souls where united in divine intercourse with the Shechina. It was not a physical experience, you did not do it to satisfy a lust, but rather to unite with the source of all in a moment of fertility that will give birth to the ability of man to connect to God for all genrations hence. Now take that higher purpose and divine union, and know that I fill the whole world with My glory, I am in the bedroom no less than I am in the synagogue or at the Kotel. So conduct yourselves in a reasonable and holy way in private just as you strive to in public.

So, if I may be allowed to say it, and May God forgive me if I am wrong, the verse, "if only they could fear me all their days ... go back to your tents," means that at times you need to strive for an other worldly holiness, fasting, silence, abstinence, nullifying yourself before God. These are all found in the ways God commanded us and in the course of the Jewish year. But you were not meant to be an angel, you were born in order to struggle to be an holy man, and at times succeed. Take all your love for God, all of your desire for holiness and purity, and put it into your daily and physical life, wereby you can truly transform the physical and saturated it with kedusha and spirituality.